And in our continuing theme of zombies and the Olympics, here’s an excerpt:
Gabrielle Douglas, USA, Gymnastics: We’re pretty sure Gabby Douglas can do anything. At 16, the women’s all-around gold medal gymnast is a certifiable superhuman. Her tiny little body is made up of compact muscles and liquid stamina, meaning she’s specifically designed for evading zombies all the live-long day. Horde of zombies and nowhere to run? No problem. She’ll just parallel-bar the crap out of whatever obstacles are in between her and safety. Or, y’know, vault over the heads of the undead and land with a double-back-hand-spring-whatever to live to do the Dougie another day.